| Just another day. |
[10 Nov 2009|11:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Michael Jackson - Give into Me |
] |
"I just can't stop loving you..............."
Omg I just turned my music on to listen to while writing this journal, and it started with this :P
Now, to the point
Dear diary (and friends),
After the notification of yesterday, that my horse was molested, I couldn't really sleep.. So I slept just an hour or less.
My mother asked me if I had the strength to go to Equador (mah horse) and check him out, plus the farrier was coming so I could give him his money, since I was there anyways.
I felt slightly uncomfortable to go up there, cause I really didn't know what I'd do when I saw Eeks injuries. But I went anyway.
So I drove a very unpleasant ride up there, and as soon as I drove up the parking area, I became nervous and nauseous. Of anger and fear I guess.
I braced myself and walked to the very direction of my horse's barn. He, as always greeted me and I immediately saw a large wound over his left eye. I was terrified of it and went looking for more wounds (as my mom told me he had multiple injuries). I didn't even had to look close to find the other wounds.. The total right side of his face was covered with wounds. I felt sick when I looked at it.. The tears burst from my eyes, when I walked away do get my medical stuff to take care of the wounds, so they don't get infected. Full of anger and disgust, I cleaned the wounds and anointed them. I could feel that Eek liked it, I think it must have hurt, but he knew I ment nothing but good.
After that the farrier did his job and while he was doing that my mom came in. She was so damn angry that she came up there straight from her work, to ask the owners of the stables how the hell it was possible that Eek got molested..
Of course they pretended they did not know, but every little piece of body language showed that they did know! I WAS SO DAMN PISSED!! And my mom was aswell.. But hey, would you be honest when you just molested someones beloved pet? I don't think so...
My mom and I left together and we drove home. We talked about it and made a plan to find out the truth about this.
I'm so disapointed in humanity.
Not only when it comes to this but in very much ways.. I always try to stay as nice as I can. Even if I don't really like the person. But even if I don't like the person I let them use me.. Just because I want to be nice. To be liked... muh..
I feel very bad atm. I have a major bleeding and it hurts like hell.. I'm calling the hospital tomorrow.. I just can't hide the pain anymore. Maybe I need to reveal the truth sooner than I wanted to.. But I just can't handle it anymore. I just can't keep on pretending that I'm okay.
So, if I like it or not.. I need to go there. Quick. *GodMichael have mercy*
I'm so scared.. But I can't show it.. I can't show them I'm scared.. I may not cry.. They won't see me crying.. But I'm scared..
Okay enough...
I hope I can get an appointment for this or next week.. Let it be quick.. I don't want to wait long.. I don't want to think about it longer than necessary.. Just get this over with and let me live again..
|
|
| What to say? |
[10 Nov 2009|06:16pm] |
Hey you guys, I just want to say that I'm hoping that you all are doing well. Being socially anxious is really hard. Hey, at least you're not arrogant a-holes. I think a lot of our problems are from our childhoods. It's really hard sometimes to figure out what is appropriate (and do it). Sometimes social activity just exhausts me. I think part of it is how little I see my real friends.
I have friends who I don't see very often. I was wondering what you would like for an old friend to do, if they called you or emailed you or facebooked you, what would be most comforting to hear? What would make you want to come outside and hang out with the other person? I feel like I need to see people more often who know me and like me, or I will get worse.
Thank you for your time!
|
|
| Tycoon Dynasty Entertainment Announces The Release Of Face Black Rose's Debut Track "So Faded" |
[10 Nov 2009|04:45pm] |
|
Tycoon Dynasty Entertainment announced the release of "So Faded," the debut single from rapper Face Black Rose. "So Faded" is the first track to be released from his upcoming EP "The Year Of The Rose".
"Face Black Rose is different from other artists and albums of the same genre," noted manager Tracy B. of Tycoon Dynasty Entertainment. "Like many rappers, he writes his own lyrics based on his own personal life experiences, as well as the struggles of friends and family members. But that's where the comparison ends. His sound is quite unique; it's a merging of blues and techno with rap."
"So Faded" is now available for purchase. The 10 track EP, "The Year of the Rose" is expected to debut around Spring of 2010 on the independent label Tycoon Dynasty Records.
http://www.FaceBlackRose.com
http://www.myspace.com/faceblackrose
http://www.twitter.com/faceblackrose
|
|
|
[10 Nov 2009|03:35pm] |
An old, lonely woman is sitting alone sipping coffee in a cafe—staring longingly at the empty seat across from her. She takes her hand off the white purse sitting beside her, brings her hand slowly up to her lips and bites the very end of her thumb. She closes her eyes momentarily, and shakes her head no, as if she is denying her loss.
As she opens her eyes, I can see that they are red; a lone tear etches down her cheek, rests on the edge of her jaw line and then drops onto her white blouse. Holding her hands together in her lap, she bows her head and her lips move as she prays silently. Taking a long, deep breathe, she looks up and stares blankly out the window. After taking her red lipstick out of her purse and applying it, she then takes a handkerchief and dabs it against her lips. Varicose veins map her legs.
|
|
| Now Fans Choose The Music! |
[10 Nov 2009|03:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Oswald - Flying To The Ground |
] |
The future of the music industry is here: now fans choose the music! The revolution that was started by Oswald band is happening now!
It's all about choice: Do you like when somebody else decides what you should listen to? Do you like the pop stuff that's falling on you from TV screens? This was the problem, the guys from Oswald were thinking about, and they found the perfect way to change this situation. They decided to let their fans choose what the band's next single will be. The fans were asked to vote for their favorite Oswald song and their voice has been heard!
So now, when the voting is over we can proudly say - Oswald fans became a part of the newest music industry model which puts fans first!
"Flying To The Ground" - is powerfull and full of strong emotions, it brings an important message for the souls of people. It is a very melodious song with powerful lyrics. The fans chose, and Oswald delivered. But you better just give it a listen for yourself. Enjoy!
Url: http://www.official.oswaldtheband.com/
|
|
| Asylum |
[10 Nov 2009|02:44am] |
I'm planning on going to Asylum in NW tomorrow night for dinner. I've never been therefore, and I need to know approximately how loud the volume is there. I have hypersensitive hearing, and since there's live entertainment, I'm a little worried. If you've been there, could you rate the volume on a weekday evening at around 6pm? On a scale of 1-10 (1 is silence, 10 is rock concert). Or any other experiences you've had there relating to noise. Will I need to wear earplugs? =/ Thank you!!!
http://www.asylumdc.com/
|
|
| Auditions For The Vagina Monologues |
[09 Nov 2009|10:55pm] |
|
Announcing a 2010 Northern Virginia production of Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues (V-Day Falls Church) Production Dates: February 13 (evening) and February 14 (afternoon) Auditions: Sunday, November 15, 4-6pm
City of Fairfax Regional Library (meeting room A/B) 10360 North Street, Fairfax, VA 22030-2514 OR Wednesday, November 18, 7-10pm Fire Station #1 - Glebe Road Station (public meeting room) 500 S Glebe Rd, Arlington, VA 22205 No acting experience required. All interested women are welcome to audition -- big and small parts available. All audition materials will be provided. Bring your calendar or datebook to double check rehearsal dates. All actresses who are cast must also commit to some off stage work: advertising, fund raising, silent auction, etc Women or men interested solely in behind-the-scenes work should contact Libby at goingdriftless [at] gmail. Please feel free to forward this announcement to any people or groups who might be interested. Any questions? Contact Libby at goingdriftless [at] gmail
|
|
| For you Eek |
[10 Nov 2009|04:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Michael Jackson - PYT |
] |
I can't sleep with knowing that my horse is in pain... :'(
So I drew him..
It is not quite neatly done, I did it quick and it's dark..
( cut )
|
|
| Wtf? |
[10 Nov 2009|02:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Michael Jackson - Privacy |
] |
My mom came home from visiting our horse and walked to my room with some sort of tears in her eyes. I could tell she was sad or angry..
So she came up to my room and look at me and said:
"I can't tell for sure, cause that will be accusation without knowing the facts, but I'm pretty sure Eek (Equador=Eek=horse 's name) is molested.."
I jumped up from my bed an screamed out " WHAT?!!?!?!!?! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?? WTF?!"
She said:"He was all jumpy when I pointed to his head. And there was a major flesh wound above his eye. He had multiple wounds on the rest of his head."
Again I jumped up in anger I yelled " WHO THE FUCK DID THAT TO HIM?! I'LL KILL THAT PERSON!!"
I'm more than pissed, I'm angry and disappointed. I was crying..
You just don't hurt animals!!!!!! Certainly not mine!!!!!!!
If I find out who did this to him, I swear to God that I'll rip that persons head off!!
I'm so full of anger... really.... JBUYBBBY#&^6265#^$#&@F!TVIYGFCVUY±!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We need some evidence, and if we have it, we'll sue the bloody motherf*cher who did this!!!!!
( Cut )
|
|
| Interview horrors |
[08 Nov 2009|11:45pm] |
Okay, so I have this interview tomorrow at this Ramen place in the city and at first I was not really too nervous about it since my life doesn't depend on this job or anything, but right now I'm kinda feeling the nerves kick in and my anxiety looming over me because more then ever, I do NOT want to be rejected.
I have this sick need to be accepted and wanted and I know that this job is not even that big of a deal... I mean I'll either be a hostess or a waitress, not exactly fancy shmancy, yet I'm still feeling so obsessive and anxious about it! It's probably because I've been rejected a lot from past interviews and other jobs in the past...
So anyway, due to my obsessive nature, I started looking up interview tips and started going crazy nitpicking and imagining all kinds of scenarios that could ensue at tomorrow's interviews. I'm literally trying to memorize what I'm going to say tomorrow and ahhh... it's just really frustrating me! SAD always makes me stiffen up, and it makes me HORRIBLE with first impressions...it's not that I'm not bubbly, in fact I'm quite friendly if I force myself to be, but my biggest problem is thinking on my feet. When I'm caught off guard by a question I completely stiffen up and become a blabbering idiot. I either start to ramble about something completely moronic or open and close my mouth like a fish. -____-
Ackk... I just can't wait until it's over already...
Anyway, just wondering if anyone else has had horrible interviewing stories or successful interview stories. Or if anyone could give some advice on how to get through an interview with SAD. o__O
*takes deep breath and crosses fingers* I hope with all my heart that all goes well tomorrow!! =O
(btw, if you haven't noticed yet, I'm kind of neurotic LOL)
|
|
| Supreme Court |
[08 Nov 2009|06:35pm] |
|
Attending oral arguments tomorrow at the Supreme Court. Can i keep my laptop with me? Thanks.
|
|
|
[08 Nov 2009|11:08am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Air : Another Day |
] |
So, I didn't go to church today. It's just so far away and it's so cold outside. I'm not all that thrilled about church. It's so nice to stay inside and be cozy on Sundays. Sundays are my worst days for anxiety.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
unfed_heart's Friends Page
annoyed
